Breaking From Busy
“Most of us were not taught how to recognize and be with pain.
When we are too busy to notice what our emotions or body are trying to tell us, they can slowly extort life from us until we listen. Acknowledging and deciphering their message, we can begin to rebuild a better way of being.”
I'd venture to guess that many of us would love a break. Maybe that’s an hour to read, or a relaxing massage, or maybe a weekend skiing with friends or one without a thing on the calendar. Maybe your ideal break is more exotic like an island vacation or overseas adventure? Sometimes mine is as simple as some margin to do just what I’m doing right now… taking a left brain break and relaxing so right brain creativity and compassion can freely flow.
Whether we want a passive break to relax, or an active break to rethink parts of our life, restore a relationship, rebuild a more inspiring career, or even renovate what we put on our plate - it’s helpful to bend our ear to this inner wisdom before something inside of us “breaks”. Continually pushing through what our bodies are trying to tell us, will push us right into survival mode.
Nearly every client I work with to help solve some bewildering symptom in their body - creeping weight gain, excessive fatigue, an autoimmune problem, brain fog, insomnia or haywire hormones - has an underlying stress response switched to “on.” This protective mechanism, meant only to be temporary, is stuck in overdrive and is having trouble switching “off”.
You may be thinking, “I’m not feeling stressed, so this isn’t me.” I encourage you to read on.
Your body is brilliant! It has ways of conditioning you to, or sheltering you from, the “felt sensation” of stress. It absorbs and also produces stress at a deep physiological level. While mental and emotional stress certainly weigh in, ANYTHING THAT OVERWHELMS YOUR BODY’S CAPACITY has the potential to catapult you into systemic stress.
Okay, so how might we avoid this situation? One way is to bend before we break. To slow down. To listen. To notice when our fuse is short or our bucket is overflowing. And then to, yes - really, take a break. But here’s the oh-so common obstacle. While we may want to, rarely do we feel we can. We don’t believe we have the time or the ability to carve out time for ourselves.
Believe me, I am torn over this too. One of my husband's affectionate nick-names for me is, "Crazy Beaver". Rightly so, as I am always building and rarely sit still. Well, until I crashed while skiing last Sunday and cracked my right radius straight across. OUCH!
Being “forced” to slow down is allowing me to see this "break" for the wonderful gift that it is. Not only was my broken arm a “lucky break”, no surgery needed, but suddenly having some unexpected time in the midst of building a brand new business has actually been a lucky break too.
Here’s what I believe about lucky breaks. Just when we feel like we can’t push pause, just when we feel we’re doing everything we can and there’s not one more thing we can do, often an unexpected solution will present itself. (Hopefully yours will be a much less shocking solution than mine!)
“When we can lovingly turn toward our pain, expressed in various ways by our bodies, we often begin to find we have choices we couldn’t see before.”
Another way of alleviating systemic stress is recognizing that we don’t always have the capacity to work through everything at all times. The world tends to constantly condition us to over-function, or to be and do things that may not be in alignment for us. This unholy pace and inauthentic living surely takes its toll. So a growing tension to take a break from this kind of “busy” can be a beautiful sign, beckoning us to a healing break.
The truth is, while we are physiologically unable to stop feeling - we can keep ourselves so busy that we don’t feel. Attempting to neutralize prolonged stress, we often adapt by pleasing and accommodating others rather than acknowledging our discomfort. This is one of the ways our bodies help us detach from parts of our lives that are overwhelming. Oh, but the cost is high!
We can’t even begin to calculate the internal debt our “ignore and push through” living is producing within our body. Systemic imbalance and cellular confusion ever so gradually bend until they’re about to break. Then our bodies and minds send up a flare! We find ourselves constantly wired and tired. Unacknowledged needs and buried pain polarize to the extremes: fight/flight or fawn/freeze. These, my friends, are sure signs of “survival overdrive syndrome (SOS)”*. If this is you, it’s time to listen and lessen your allostatic load.
Here’s a short list of factors that can stimulate the stress response and send your system into survival overdrive:
chronic emotional and mental stress
inadequate nutrition
gut disruption, dysbiosis or leaky gut
food triggers, addictions or sensitivities
environmental toxins
excess estrogens
lack of social connection/belonging
lack of physical exercise and pleasure
routine lifestyle patterns that counter natural rhythms
While the vast majority of humans may only quantify the first point as “stress,” as a functional nutritionist, I see it differently. Every day I see how all the other areas are not only key components, BUT… they can also exacerbate the first! Our inability to sail through every day stressors or being perpetually pounded by buzzing anxiety are often symptoms of underlying roots. When the roots are uncovered, we can then begin the process of rebuilding: restoring proper function and holistic harmony.
How is this speaking to you? Would you like to start turning things around even today? If so, I invite you to combine both of these approaches. Choose to give yourself a break and listen for what your body may be communicating to you. It could be as simple as letting the warm water of the shower subdue your normal ruminations. Instead just listen, notice, and acknowledge what you may be needing. If you have difficulty fully understanding a need in that moment, it’s okay. Just notice and give yourself permission to practice until it becomes more clear.
“Breaking from busy. Slowing. Noticing. Acknowledging. Feeling. Being with our feelings until we can consciously identify the underlying need. These steps can actually diffuse difficult emotions, which then invites us into a much needed conversation where we have more choice to feel and heal. We are allowing ourselves to be broken open in order to rebuild.”
Some of you may be actively engaged in this process now. What new opportunities are offered to you as you lean into this process? What gifts have appeared as you've made a break from unhealthy habits? Has a renewed strength and confidence emerged from actually trying softer, instead of pushing harder? Are you learning to look at your days, your choices, yourself with more hope and an unmistakable sense of empowerment?! Oh, how I hope so!
Some of you have just been stirred and have yet to begin. Others may need additional support to help you find what’s been blocking you for years. I hope you don't wait another day! I hope you take a step (or two or three) in the direction of what you believe is best. Life is fragile, we are fragile, and so easily broken. It’s better by far to bend before we break. Trust me, I know.
We will never regret slowing down, listening with love, and investing in ourselves. Never.
Our only regret may be that we didn’t do it sooner.
* SOS - Survival Overdrive Syndrome coined by Dr. Aviva Romm
